Tuesday, 22 July 2014

There can be only one

"Oh here comes the only child. Be careful!"

Actually, we don't bite and we are everywhere. Families of a single child are increasingly more often but still only children are stigmatized as self-centered, selfish, self-obsessed and so on …of course, that might (and I've said "might"!) be true (rarely though!), things are not so black or white!

Speaking as a 'party of one' myself, I think that only children, when not negatively stimulated, turn out to be amazing. Although, there is a group of people that seem keen on making the life of the only children a living hell with comments like the ones listed bellow.

So here's what you do: back off, put down the shovel you’re about to use on the person and feel free to use any of my lines.

Things that an only child, wanted to say at least once in their lives
Only Child equals a Cool Child

Classic comments an only child is tired of hearing: 

     1) “Sharing is difficult for you.” Share? Share like what? This is mine so it can’t be yours, simple math, see?

     2) “Only children are kind of, you know, weird”. So we are weird because we find that being home by ourselves is fine?  And no, it’s not boring.

     3) “Only children are not so well prepared to face life.” Oh no she didn’t! We had to deal with our stuff alone from a very early age, sister! Alleluia!

     4) “It must be really lonely”.  We’re not lonely, either. We are used to be alone, so we understand that is not the end of the world to stay in one weekend, watching movies and eating like a pig ( this is just me, right?).

   5) “So boring being just three at home, right?” Wrong. Actually, it’s not. Parents can be the greatest friends and playmates. Just don’t put your Mother as Ken or your Barbie might never get some action.

     6) “Only children are more matured”. Err, yeah right…Tell that to the space monkey pajamas I’m going to wear tonight.

     7) “You must have a great imagination!” Are you joking? Excuse me, while I go lend my phone to my Baby Born, he’s going to use Barbie's Jaguar tonight and needs to make a phone call to Ken, he has the keys.

     8) “Oh! You must love being the center of attention”. Yeah…so much that when all the people in the room look at me, I feel the urge to shove my face trough a wall.

     9) “You’re selfish and too into yourself”.  Yes I am. I am also extremely loyal and believe that my friends are the whole world.

Still, twins are weirder than us.

Your (only child yet so loyal) Top Crusher,