Girl Talk : Casual Cruelty

Recently, I've come across an interview of Lena Dunham (gotta love her truly-madly-deeply) where she was asked to name one thing that she really didn't like and she only said two words: Casual Cruelty. 

All of the sudden, that stroke a chord with me. You know in cartoons where a lightbulb goes of? It was something like that for me, I really thought "that's it" that's the root of all petty problems amongst women: we operate under this directive for far too long, we are "casually cruel" to each other every day: friends, co workers, best friends, mums, daughters, we are all victims of it and we keep doing that to each other.

See also: 8 things about the Portuguese Woman

This must stop. The need to put the other person (women) down because your hair doesn't look nice today, your dress doesn't quite fit, your heels are hurting or you really mess up with your boss this morning,  you don't get the right to be mean because you are insecure about something. 

Suck it up, we are all angry, yep I'm angry a lot, but don't be the bad bitch you feel the need to be. 

You can take it out on someone who is completely unwarned of whats going on an in that moment that sure is gratifying. but then what? You were a horrible person and that comment will sooner or latter cost you something because karma works around the clock and it ins't in a hurry. 

I'm not taking the moral high ground here, hey I've done it more times that I can remember but hey, you need to stop this. I'm not saying spread the peace and love among women lets all join hand in prays no! no bullshit, just cut it out mean spirited current comments such as this:

"hey, that skirt looks really good on you! it disguises your huge hips, honestly"

"Stop it! You need to grow up and stop being so whinny really, just being honest here"

"Oh common we both know you never be able to pull it off in that situation, to be honest"

Oh it's cool to be honest!But misguided anger it's not! And I'm not saying that you have to smile and be polite and happy all the goddam time. God, I'm not always happy, I'm not always smiling in fact I frown a lot, A LOT! and...I'm not fuking polite all the time. 

The message here is be better. Do not take down other girls on their looks, on their behavior, on their intelligence, just....be better than that.

And so on. Many of you will think that I'm just being sensitive, other will relate, and others...will turn away without acknowledging they have done it but they will know it, every women recognises the moment where she has taken it too far. 

Because, if you all have felt that sting you don't see coming...wouldn't we know that it really really hurts?

Your TopCrusher,
Alex

Girls will be girls

Girls
Credits

I started watching HBO’s Girls more than a year ago and for some reason I just didn't like it at first, I watched the pilot and decided that it wasn't my kind of show. Recently, I’m not sure why, I decided to give it another try, and I realized that I really misjudged Lena Dunham’s show.

I watched the first two seasons in a week (I have a permanent job and I study, ok guys? So this is a lot for me!) and I am currently watching the third season and still loving it. I think the reason why I enjoy watching Girls so much is because, for the first time since Sex and the City, I see something interesting about women on TV and I’m not talking about sex. 

Although I can’t relate with Hannah at all, who is the main character, I appreciate that Lena Dunham has the guts to play a different and unique character that annoys me deeply and more than I can explain, but that’s her. I like to see that Marnie is fucked up and lost and doesn't know what to do with herself but still tries. It amuses me that Shosh is such a neurotic and self-absorbed person and that nobody really cares and they love her anyway. And Jessa… who doesn't love Jessa? She’s so beautiful and glamorous and free, all women want to be her at some point. 

I also like the fact that their friendship isn't perfect, that sometimes they want to kill each other and act like complete psychos, but isn't that even a little truth in all female relationships? Yup, it is. 

Anyway, it’s my TV suggestion of the week. If you haven’t tried, go ahead! If you have, you probably know what I am talking about. 

Your TopCrusher,
Daniela