Charles Bukowski and the terrible itch for solitude.

Today, we are going to talk about love.

Last night, my best friend and - one of my soulmates I believe - and I started to talk about our issues with love. We have known each other for 10 years now, we have held each other's hand throught everything, literaly everyfucking thing you can imagine. We seem to share the same views and thoughts on life so we often get into these deep discussions about what does it all mean. 

Suddenly, he showed me something that I can't just keep to myself. It was a poem by Charles Bukowski, one so raw, so heartbreakingly true...so us.

“Love is a form of prejudice. You love what you need, you love what makes you feel good, you love what is convenient. How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? But you'll never meet them.” - Charles Bukowski

i'm going to get personal, I have recently got out of a 7 year long on & off relationship with what I thought it was the man I was going to spend my entire life with. It was bad. It was really bad and then...nothing. I started to get to know myself again, gosh how I have missed me. How could I forget how much fun I can be? How could I forget who I was? How?

You know that insecure, little girl who waited for validation from the people around her, almost apologising when she spoke her mind? She is no more. I have grown and changed into someone that is above all else ... stronger and belongs to the world.

I have this fire that makes me wanna go dancing every friday night and this lust that makes wanna catch the eye of that very cute guy in the corner and when it's over I pretty much just want to get home and get to bed alone. And that's ok. Wanting that is totally ok. No, you are not a slut, you are not some wild card, you know what you are doing. All of this is ok. I know they don't tell you that very often, do they?

Still...no matter how much fun I'm having, no matter with whom.... there's always a question on the back of my mind: is this it? Am I doomed to spend the rest of my life being the crazy cat lady from the simpsons? Fuck that. 
Fuck everything that tells me that by 28 I ought to be preparing for marriage and listening to some internal tik tak, tik tak. 

I'm 28, beautiful, successful, healthy - when I'm not destroying my liver every other day - I refuse to settle though.

Because, once you settle, how do you find the answer to this: " How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them?" That's hard enough to do when you're not settling. That is so hard, to actually stop thinking what if, to actually be happy with someone..."But you'll never meet them".

I hope I never stop wanting to go dancing. I hope this fire never goes out. 
I hope to never settle. I hope I get shaken to the core.

Your very poetic TopCrusher,
Alex

This is Just a Ride

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. 

Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder: "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say: "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we...kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." 

It's just a ride. 

But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride.Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace."

- Bill Hicks

It's Just a Ride
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Your TopCrusher,

Dúnia

Little Princess Trust: cutting your hair for a good cause!

Recently, two friends of mine, Olívia and Inês, decided to cut and donate their hair to the Little Princess Trust, a charity that provides real hair wigs to children with cancer and other diseases that cause hair loss. I thought this was a really special and kind gesture, so the least I can do - while I don't have the courage to donate - is write about it and hopefully reach more people who are thinking of doing the same but just don't know how. 

This is what you can read on the charity's website: 

"We work with specialist suppliers and experienced hairdressers who offer wigs tailored to the individual child’s needs to give the most realistic look and feel, as close as possible to their original hair. We strive to put parents/guardians in contact with suppliers as local as possible."

The process is actually pretty simple, this is the information you should know before you donate:

Suitable hair types: 

• Clean, dry hair in good condition (no split ends) from any gender, and of any natural colour, 
• Straight, wavy, curly, permed or chemically straightened (in good condition), 
• Containing the odd grey (less than 10%), 
• Dyed, bleached/highlighted (any dyes must be of a natural colour), 
• Layered (shortest layer must be at least 7”/17cm), 
• Plaits/ponytails, cut a long time ago, preserved in good condition

Guidelines:

• Immediately prior to the cut, please wash and dry your hair. Please do not send wet hair in the post as this will sadly render your kind donation unusable. Please do not add any styling product though conditioner is acceptable
• Have your dried hair tied into a number of plaits or pony-tails, secured at both the root end and the tip end with an elastic band
• Ask your hairdresser to cut your dried hair above the bands at the root end, thereby releasing plaits/pony-tails, tied at both ends. You can now have your hair cut further and styled (or shaved if that is your intention)
• Place your dry plaits/pony-tails into a clear plastic bag (for example a freezer bag) as soon as possible after they have been cut. Place them in a padded envelope and post using a standard postal service to:

Little Princess Trust Hair Donation

Sheridan House

114-116 Western Road

HOVE BN3 1DD (UK)

If you're looking for inspiration, you can also see their gallery, which is full of pictures from courageous people who have already donated their hair. The wigs are completely free for the children and the charity will send you a certificate after they receive the donation. 

The next time you think about getting an extreme makeover, you can cut your hair for a good cause! Don't forget to donate, make someone happy with a part of you! 

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela

90's ads that raised a generation

Grandma bake you cookies that got stuck in your teeth's and hands because they had so much sugar on it, TV was a realm of cartoons and ads for toys, things, people you wanna grow up to be, everything you would like to own later in life and you were certain that someday you'd find a use for every single one of them.

Those were the days!

See also: 27 movies, 27 years

The 90's...the years that raise a generation on TV. No, I'm not arguing about the influence of such ads on the young minds (no, not going there) but without making judgements those ads can't get out of our mind (c'mon people I can't be alone in this) and just like your grandma cookies, those ads are part of our childhood.

That song played and suddenly you knew that everything was going to be alright.

HOLIDAYS WERE COMING!!!! 

Yep. Everybody knows this one!

 

C'mon Duck tales! Cartoons were never this good :)

Ruffles, ruffles everywhere!

It should be 16.30 more often. This ad is iconic right?

the 90's a time where childrem actually play outside with TAZOS.

You got your moves from this ad and go try it at school the next day! 

PRINGLES!

TOTALLY CRAZY. saturdays you spend with your cousin applying different looks and then just choosing to cut off all of Totally Hair Barbie doll. Aww, good times.

See also: 27 movies, 27 years

Your very nostalgic TopCrusher 

Alex,

Plus is Equal

size sexy
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Have you met Ashley Graham? She is definitely my crush for this month! This beauty is an American model from Nebraska and also a "body activist" who is trying to change the way the fashion industry works. 

I've heard of Ashley the first  when she staged a plus size show in the latest New York  Fashion Week, which showcased her lingerie designs for plus size retailer Addition Elle. 

First of all: the lingerie was a-ma-zing.

Secondly: she absolutely rocked it! I mean.. After all, there's a reason why the hashtag was #IamSizeSexy! I loved everything, but most of all, I love that she has what most women lack the most: confidence.

It's time for people to understand that sexy doesn't have to be skinny and all body types are equally beautiful and deserve to be loved. It's not the first time I post about this subject, as I feel that women are still being judged and put into boxes of skinny/beautiful or fat/ugly based on their weight and this is extremely unfair and unreal. 

Again, I believe that at the end of the day we should be worried, not about the number on the scale, but about the fact that we're striving for a healthy lifestyle based on real standards that show us gorgeous women.  

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela 

Menorca, a Spanish piece of heaven

Mitjana
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Hi Crushers,

After my last post about a Portuguese island, I'm going to share my experience on another island, this time a Spanish one: Menorca. I was there for a week and it was the perfect ending for my summer holidays. This island is one of the Balearic Islands and it is located in the Mediterranean Sea.

If you are looking for beautiful sunny beaches, warm water and soft sand, this is the island for you too. While I was there, we decided that we should know as many "calas" - which mean beaches - as we could. We selected a few of them according to what we thought would be the most beautiful and interesting to visit. Heads up: some are easy to get to, for others you need proper footwear and motivation to walk an hour and a half under the burning Menorca sun. However, I can tell you that the effort is worth it.

After visiting all the calas we were looking for, I can tell you that my favorite one was cala Mitjana. I cannot give you a scientific or logic reason why... It was just a superb day for me, and I'm sure I'll never forget it. Everything was just perfect: the beach, the weather, the company, the sand and salt on my skin, I just adored it.

I also visited cala Turqueta, Macarella and Macarelleta, Galdana, Escorxada (the most difficult to get to, I would advise you to book a taxi boat if you are not into long walks), Fustam, Trebalúger, Santandria and Arenal d'en Castell. You can google all of them and read different opinions of bloggers, but I believe that only when you actually visit these places you can understand their beauty.

This is not the ideal island if you are looking for a crazy week  drinking with your friends but it has a spectacular club called Cova d'en Xoroi that is something like I've never seen before: "an impressive natural space located in a beautiful cliff on the south coast of the island, touched by history and washed by the sea". Basically: an unique disco inside a cavern with incredible views! 

To sum up, this week was like a piece of heaven on earth for me, I will certainly recommend the island in the future and possibly return to visit the magnificent calas! 

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela 

6 Things about Madeira Island, Portugal

Hey Crushers,

Recently I went to Madeira island in a work trip and I decided that I had to share this experience with you guys. Although I'm Portuguese, this was the first island that I visited. Just to give you a quick overview about it: Madeira is located in the north Atlantic Ocean, being visited every year by about one million tourists.

Madeira is known for its wine, gastronomy, historical and cultural value, its flora and fauna and beautiful landscapes (classified as a UNESCO World Heritage Site). Its annual New Year celebrations feature the largest fireworks show in the world. Unfortunately, I was only there for 3 days, and I was working hard, so I didn't have enough time to visit the whole island. I met Funchal, which is the capital and the largest city. 

Anyhow, it was enough time to take my own (probably hasty) conclusions. Here are 6 things I learned about Madeira:

1. Sea, everywhere. Yeah, I'm not stupid, I know it's an island. Anyway, I'm not used to be so close to the sea all the time, and I loved it! It doesn't matter where you are, if you look for it, the sea is there for you. I loved opening my window in the morning with that breathtaking view!

2. Nice, simple people. The people from Madeira are used to tourists visiting all year and you can expect to be treated with kindness and lots of smiles from the locals. It's also a safe place, great for young people looking for an adventure or families with young children. 

3. Nosy taxis drivers. This one was the funniest thing for me. I was with a work colleague there and taxi drivers were very concerned with our relationship and our purpose on the island. There wasn't a day where we weren't questioned about what we do, where we are from, why we where there, etc. Sometimes they would end up with a comment like "well, two beautiful women on the island..." with that curious/suspicious look on their faces. We though it was very amusing.

Madeira
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4. Peace. It's just so peaceful comparing with our crazy lifestyle. No traffic, no noise, things just happen with the appropriate speed and without so much stress. I think I wouldn't get used to it, but sometimes it's nice to feel a different environment.

5. It goes up... and down! Take your comfortable shoes with you because this island is going to test your limits. Think positive: the higher you go, the better landscapes you'll see! Ps: it's hot too, so don't forget your water bottle.

6. CR7. If you like soccer, you have to know Cristiano Ronaldo. Since he was born in Madeira, you are going to see him everywhere there. Honestly, there's even a statue of him on the main avenue, so the people from Madeira are, undoubtedly, his biggest fans. 

If you ever visit Madeira you'll confirm these things and many more, and I'm sure you'll have a good time on our beautiful Portuguese paradise!

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela 

Love, Freedom and Aloneness

Aloneness
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Today I discovered Chandra Mohan Jain, also known as Osho. He was an Indian mystic, guru and spiritual teacher. I've never heard of him before but I accidentally found a quote on pinterest about our capacity to love that got my attention. It is so simple, but at the same time it is really deep and insightful and it made perfect sense to me. This was the excerpt:

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” Osho

Aren't we all constantly learning to love? I know I am. The older I get, the more I realize that it is very challenging to love someone, to make them happy and to be happy too. According to Osho, happiness should only come from us and not from the others. Isn't it beautiful to believe that we only depend on ourselves? 

I was so curious that I ordered his book "Love, Freedom and Aloneness" because I feel that sometimes I just need a different perspective on life and how to live it, to keep an open mind and an open heart. 

Hopefully it will be enlightening, I'll let you know what I thought after I read it. 

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela 

"Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young"

wasted on the young
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Recently, one of my Marketing teachers advised us to read this essay by the Chicago Tribune's columnist Mary Schmich and I loved it so much I wanted to share this hypothetical speech with you. As you will see, although it is directed for the class of 97, it is still adequate for the way we live today, and it probably still be a hundred years from now. 

"Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."

Beautiful, right?

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela 

Caitlyn Jenner's story and why all women must love Jon Stewart

Welcome to being a woman
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You know what ladies? Jon Stewart just gets it! Perfectly. 

As we all know Vanity Fair's photos of Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce, hit the media this week and they all had something to say. Although in general everyone seems to be accepting her gender transition, Jon Stewart brilliantly saw something that no one else noticed: media and sexism.

"It's really heartening to see that everyone is willing to not only accept Caitlyn Jenner as a woman, but to waste no time in treating her like a woman."

The way Caitlyn looks was everything they were talking about. Should we take a minute to reflect? I did... And that's it, the moment you become a women, you must be defined by your beauty, your boobs and your ass - and that's really sad.

And then, the worst part comes, comparison, or as Jon says "comparative fuckability": 

"Is she hotter than Kris? Does she have a better body  than Kim?" Wtf people? Hey, where's the message that every woman should focus on herself instead of going crazy comparing her body to the ones they see on the runways? Nowhere.

So, thank you Jon for bringing up the important issues here, it's nice to see someone on TV still has a brain.

You can watch the full video below:

Nailed it, right?

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela

Shades of Cool

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The question to be asked is... Can Lana Del Rey get any cooler? I really can't see a way. I fell in love with this 29 year old singer and song writer when I first heard Video Games *It's you, it's you, it's all for you, I tell you all the time, Heaven is a place on earth with you* !

Unique and authentic, Lana is the personification of the american beauty. According to Vogue's article, Is the World Ready to Stop Judging Lana Del Rey?, "the world seems to have finally caught on. She now has the room to invent and reinvent herself, to romanticize whatever sad suffering she pleases, and to make lush and cinematic her odd love affair with desperation and aloneness—all without the love-hate whiplash of her early days. Not only her person but also her music stands alone. Lana Del Rey is her own genre." Yes people, stop judging, start listening. 

To deepen my love for her music, there was Blue Jeans, *I will love you until the end of times, I would wait a million years*, and then, when you realize sometimes things are darker than you expected, she explained love and lost with Born to Die.

Now I'm listening to Ultraviolence, her third studio album, and I'm still loving it. She has her own thing, and I won't get bored easily. This is my suggestion for your sunny Sunday:

Your TopCrusher,

Daniela 

Top 5 items to wear to a music festival

Silly season is back. Coachella opened this season and dictated a series of fashionable looks. Europe is about to get into those summertime vibes and what can it be more summer than a music festival? 

Portugal,  the rest of Europe and even the other side of the Atlantic is about to be taken over by a series of alternative, pop, rock music concerts. 

It's time for girls everywhere start freaking out about what to wear. Easy, girls. 

We got your back and we got year of experience on some failed outfits worn to music festivals : 

*decides to wear pants * oh it almost 100º degrees

*decides to wear shorts * oh there's a plague of lochausts eveywhere

*decides to wear a dress * oh! arrives home with a gum stuck to the underwear

So okay, we give a list of a the Top 5 items you should wear to a music festival. But, remember that all in all the aim is to be comfortable, have fun and...well...get drunk and don't need to worry about a boob falling out or something.

1)  Headbands: Maybe it's just me who always believe that she lived the 60's but where there is sun, music and people you got to wear a flower crown in your head. The smaller the better so it doesn't way you down and you can party along all night.

2. Crop Top: believe me that's one item that comes for all shapes and sizes. Nevermind that, the item is hot, trendy, and wear it right and could be amazing. Style with a short, baggy pants, ripped jeans, a skort or a skirt and don't forget your confidence at home you are going to need it to rock it. 

3. Closed Shoes wheter it's vans our your favorite camel boot. They come in all shapes and sizes and are the most comfortable shoes to wear at a concert. Remember there's always dirt in the air in those summer concerts so your feet will be guarded from that and better...it will prevent you for getting your foot smashed by some big boned guy in the row in front of you.

4. Checkerd shirt: Think again if you thought it had gone out of style. It's back, wear it around your waist its perfect as a blanket for each time you'd want to seat and it's perfect for that day to night transition where it might get chilly...all you need to do is to put it on and voilá. 

5. Shorts: When comfort meets glam you have the summer shorts.Take your favorite pair of jean that doesn't quite seem to fit and personalize them. Wear them in all shapes and sizes but remember the tighter the better (no not because of your butt) but because you wouldnt want to go around flashing people.

Your Topcrusher

Alex, the  Rock Legend

Huarache Lights

Have you heard about Hot Chip?

They're a British electronic music band and they have been around since 2000. Hot Chip have recently released their sixth album, Why Make Sense? and I'm obsessed with the first single  -"Huarache Lights" -, which is in loop mode at the moment.

Honestly, this genre of music is not my favorite but this song is kind of cool, kind of deep, perfect to hear when you want to step aside from what's happening around you: I put my headphones on and the world is out.

Here it is, my soundtrack for this week:

Hope you enjoy it!

Your TopCrusher,
Daniela 

Porto: forever being cool

You can feel it everywhere: the more and more cosmopolitan city that Porto has become in the last few years and how things started to be more appealing and more beautifully European.

The alternative and lovely spaces you can find in the city, especially downtown, turns Porto into a trendy, modern and interesting place at the same time. Like the right place to be and to be seen.

Rua Miguel Bombarda is a great example of that. Contemporary art galleries, vintage stores, restaurants, cozy and sweet coffee bars, are now calling for the generations that want their city always beating for something new and special.

Porto is getting a new look too and the city always wants to improve artistic movements. The art throughout the streets is a powerful way to keep them alive. Porto always has the perfect vision to give something to see for free.

The street art wall at Rua Miguel Bombarda was one of the many events that we couldn't resist.

Just passing by this is what you can see:

The streets are alive
(Pictures taken by me)

Porto is such a cool city and it definitely became alive with great colours.
Those colours are in our hearts! 

Your TopCrusher,

Dúnia